Who am I?

These past few weeks at church our pastor has been teaching on prayer and the power of it. In my spiritual walk with Christ, prayer is one of my weak points. You know how when you feel like the preacher is talking directly to you so you discreetly look around you to see if anybody else is staring at you? Yeah, that's how this has been. I hope I'm not the only one that does that...that would be embarrassing..

 

Anyways, like most people, my prayer life is not what it needs to be. Sure, I talk to God. I have casual conversations with Him. That's just the way He and I exist. But that's the problem, its just existing. Of course your prayer life should be your personal preference. Everybody has their personal speed dial to Him, but some times I think I need to give Him more than just a conversation while I'm driving to school or cleaning the kitchen. I feel like I should be devoting a time to Him that is like no other. A time to praise Him and to thank Him.

 

Most people have the problem of only calling on God when life is just not going their way and neglect to thank Him. I'm quite the opposite. I'll thank Him 24/7. But when it comes time for help, I tend to struggle...Its the strangest thing. I don't know if I just think I'm some type of superwomen that's just not in a tight suit or if I just don't want to hand over complete control.

 

Tonight at church we read a passage in Mark 9 about Jesus casting out this evil spirit from this man's son. When this dad is asking Jesus to take pity on them he asks Jesus to do anything if He can. So of course Jesus is like whoa dude, IF I CAN? (I mean its Jesus, of course He can). Jesus proceeds to tell him, "Everything is possible for one who believes." The man replies by exclaiming, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."

 

When I read that man's desperate plea for Jesus to help him overcome this unbelief, I instantly starting thinking...What am I doing by not trusting Him with my worldly problems? Is that a form of unbelief? Who am I to decide what He can handle? I have always felt like if I asked for Christ's help, I wasn't strong enough. If I came to him with my pleas for Him to relieve even a fraction of my pain that I would be just wasting His time when there are far more people in this world that need more help than I do. In my opinion, my pain is so tiny in the grand scheme of things. But He is the Ultimate Father. The number one thing a father wants to do is wipe the pain away. They are the protectors and the comforters. Why not give Him the trust and belief to do just that?  

 

 

Who am I to question His abilities?

He's the Almighty.

Alpha and Omega.

He conquered death.

Defeated the grave.

 

And He can't handle my problems?...yeah right.