daylight and dark: part 2

Today, my very best friend had her wisdom teeth removed.

Boy, was that an experience!

 

Today, she accused her mom of

 ruining her life because we didn't stop at KFC on the way home.

She told me to shut up countless times.

Every time she looked at me she said, "hey girl, what's up?"

She put on her own, personal concert in the car (that's not much different than real life).

She cried... A LOT.

I have medicated her as much as they'll let me!

She flipped her mom and I off.

We napped.

We watched the new Fuller House!

She cried some more...

 

(Don't worry, we videoed everything.)

 

She has napped with me COUNTLESS times after my many procedures and surgeries.

Always checks on me and brings me balloons.

Always reminds me just how strong I am.

Why wouldn't I want to do the same for her and more?

 

If you don't have somebody like that for you...GET ONE.

I don't want to be cliché and use the Christina and Meredith and the whole "you're my person" thing.

But, there is no better way to describe it.

So glad God knew we would need each other some day. 

I don't know how anybody makes it through life without a Princess Lex.

You're missing out.

 

This is just one many segments of daylight and dark. So get used to us. :)

 

Me: So, are you ready to have surgery again?

 

Lex: *shoots me some dagger eyes*

Uh, no. What kind of question is that? 

 

Me: How was your first surgery experience?

 

Lex: Terrible. I'm hurting. I'm drooling. Oh, and I'm hungry.

 

Me: Aren't you glad you had me here to take care of you?

 

Lex: Duh. You were really nice to me. You cuddled me. You didn't yell at me

like my mom. (WE LOVE YOU MAGON) You took care of Baden, too. And you made me

get up and pee when I didn't want to. And you made

me drink water when I didn't want to.

That's a best friend.

 

Me: *silently thinking those are the nicest things she's ever said me in a row*

 

I'm glad you're my best friend, dude.

 

 

 

 

 



finding joy in the journey

Last Sunday at church we watched a video with various testimonies on pieces of cardboard in writing. Whatever they had gone through was on the front, then they flipped the signs to the back and it said what God did for their situation and how He saved them, their life, their marriage, etc. 

As I have thought about that this past week, I have grown more and more frustrated. Why hasn't my sign flipped? Why am I still in the midst of the struggle? Why haven't I been pulled out yet? This really began to bother me. 

I have had rheumatoid arthritis for almost 4 years now, new trials and issues stem from that horrid autoimmune disease everyday. I've never been the one to get "mad" at God. I'm the rational, logical one that knows His plan is the best plan. In His time and way, I will be healed. But lately, that hasn't seemed to be cutting it for me. I have had an infection for months now, one that my body just can't seem to shake. Countless tests, couple of procedures, and medicine out the yin yang...and it's still there. Out of all the sicknesses I have had over the last few years, this one has had the biggest impact on me. I have cried more, gotten angrier, and questioned God more than I ever have through this whole journey. 

I get to thinking...Jesus healed the blind, made the paralyzed walk again, parted seas, saved souls, cast out demons, walked on water, and yet I am still sick. 

I don't like that me. I like the me who's faith is unmoving, who whole heartedly trusts the one who moves mountains, and believes He moves mountains for me. I get so wrapped up in what is wrong with me and not in what isn't wrong with me. I get consumed by trying to hold it all together and be strong and couragous and brave and kind, that I forget who I'm suppose to be holding onto. I forget that its okay to not be okay. I forget that I have the Messiah in my corner, the King that has already won. He is THE one God. And His power lives within me. 

Over these next couple of weeks, I pray that I am in constant knowledge of just who I have on my side. I pray that I will let go and just be held by Him. I pray that all these awful diseases and cancers will one day be like the common cold. I pray and long for the day that no pain is felt. I pray that I am joyful in the days filled with sorrow and dwell on the days full of joy. I pray for the people who love me without hesitation, Lord knows that's not an easy thing to do. I pray to always remember that believing in this Savior isn't logical or rational, it is completely by faith. I pray that I lose control, that I give it up to Him. I pray that I never forget that where I end up isn't what's going to shape and mold me into the Proverbs 31 woman I was made to be - the journey, the struggle, the trials, the hardships, the friendships, the love, the faith, the trust - that's when I will be the clay and You the potter. 

I pray that I never lose the ability to always find joy in the journey, whatever that journey might be.